The Naked Man in the Bedroom and Other Mistakes Sellers Make

Realtors are well aware that sometimes things go awry.  We are, after all, taking customers though someone else’s home, often at a moment’s notice.  If a Realtor comes to a closed bedroom door in a supposedly empty house, our inclination is to proceed with caution.       

“Hello?” We announce loudly. “I’m the Realtor, showing the house.”

         When you hear no response, you take a breath and turn the knob. 

 Usually, no one’s there.

         Occasionally, however, the door will be yanked open by a sleepy, very naked young man and you blurt out whatever comes into your head first– which in my colleague’s case was, “Get some clothes on!”

Just What Exactly Are You Selling Here?

            If your house is on the market, here are a couple of helpful hints to prevent your potential buyer from completely forgetting what your house looks like in the wake of a showing disaster.

1.  Make sure ALL family members know the house is being shown.

A naked guy is not the only thing that can keep a buyer from being interested in your house.  Suppose your teenager doesn’t know the house is being shown at 4 and he gets home at 3:00.  I don’t know about your kids, but mine could have cooked a 4 course meal, eaten it in front of the TV, left the dirty dishes on the coffee table and invited half their friends over for a video game marathon. 

When you’re selling your house, you only get one chance to make a first impression.  Make sure it’s the impression you want to make.

It’s Me or the Dog

2. Pets are great, but your buyer doesn’t want them.

            I really love dogs. But you know how your children don’t always behave the way you expect when you’re not there?  You should see how your dog acts.  Sometimes he barks and growls through the entire showing, following your potential buyers menacingly from room to room.  Dogs are territorial, after all, and we are invading his territory.

 If your dog is a barker (or worse, a growler), it’s a good idea to take him with you during a showing.  You do not want the buyer to be distracted from how great your home is by anything that is not going to stay with the house. 

            And since this is an equal opportunity blog, make sure there’s nothing about your cats, birds, pet tarantula or Harry-the-Gila-monster that might put off a potential buyer.  Remember, they are buying your house.  Not your lifestyle. 

Honey, Do We Know These People?

3. You want your buyers to be focused on the house. Period.

 If you’ve watched much HGTV, you know that one of the most common recommendations made to sellers is to remove personal pictures.  I’m not sure I buy into that completely, but I will tell you that in the twenty years I’ve been in real estate, I’ve had numerous people get distracted by whether they knew the people in the photos on the wall.

             Take those pictures of your family as they grew and pack them away.  It’ll be one less thing you’ll have to pack when the sold sign goes in your yard.

Calling American Pickers…

4. Go Ahead and Start Packing.

This may sound silly, but sometimes people can’t look past your stuff to see the house.  If you have a collection of china elephants or plastic tigers or popcorn that resembles famous people, please, pack it away.  You don’t want that popcorn kernel that looks “just like Elvis” to be the only thing your potential buyer remembers about your house.

          Distractions can prevent a buyer from considering the house as a possibility for them.

All the World’s a Stage

5.  De-Clutter!

            Everyone’s heard of “staging, but what on earth is it?  Simply put, it’s displaying your home at its best.  Picture the display on the end of the shelf at your local big-box store.  Then compare it with the window display at a high end department store.

             You don’t want your house to look like a Sam’s Club. 

   You want Macy’s in New York at Christmas. 

           

            Let’s face it.  We all have too much stuff.  To sell your home, you need the space to look clean, bright and spacious. If that means some furniture and knickknacks go into storage for a while, so be it.

Maybe We Should Go……

           

6.  Don’t stay.

           

Your presence at a showing prevents a potential buyer from taking their time.  They won’t look in closets, express their opinion or discuss the house with each other.  Many sellers think they can stay and answer questions, but truthfully, if the seller is there, there likely won’t be any questions.  Buyers feel uncomfortable and the showing is hurried.   

And you hired a professional to sell your house.  Let him.  He’s the expert. 

        So, when your Realtor calls to tell you she’s showing your house, leave.   

        And don’t forget to take the naked guy with you.

Buying A House Can Be Like Riding A Roller Coaster

Buying a House Is Like a Ride on a Roller Coaster

            At Six Flags Over Texas, there’s a wonderful wooden roller coaster called the Texas Giant.  It’s one of my all-time favorites, and I’m a serious roller coaster junkie.  You hear the great clackety-clack, clackety-clack of the rails as your car slowly climbs 143 feet into the air.  And just as you reach the summit, you look up to see a wooden plaque hanging over your head. On it is a picture of Wiley Coyote, looking… well, like Wiley Coyote.  It says. “Wait! Let’s discuss this!”

            Then the bottom drops out and you’re screaming in ecstasy.

            Or terror.  Sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference.

That’s a perfect picture of real estate, right?

        

A Thrill Ride

            Finding a house can be an adventure. The “hunt” can be fun and exciting as you and your realtor determine what’s important to you and what isn’t.  (There are few more satisfying experiences for a realtor than to take a client into a home and see the look that comes over their faces as they realize, This. Is. It. It is fun and rewarding, the real estate business.) 

But finding the perfect house is the fun part. Or should I say, the first fun part.

           

Then, Terror Strikes

            Any great roller coaster has an element of danger involved.  And let’s face it. If it wasn’t scary, it wouldn’t be so much fun.

  Many people find the purchase contract (and signing it) almost as frightening as that plunge from the top of the Texas Giant.  And your heart has barely settled into place from that experience when you are thrust into a world of people who seem to speak a different language than you. 

A language that involves words like:

            *Escrow

            *Prepaids

            *Disclosures

            *Good faith

            *Hud-1

            *Settlement statements

            *Brokerage agreements

            *Underwriting

            *MIP, PMI

           

The list is endless.  And the truly scary part is that they all know what they’re talking about. 

And you don’t have a clue.

            Most people don’t know escrow from those black birds that dot the countryside.  And isn’t all faith supposed to be good?  And why, oh why, does a “settlement statement” sound like some kind of threat?

It sounds like English, but it’s a lot like moving from an Italian neighborhood in Jersey to a small town in Georgia.  You find yourself saying, “Huh?”

A lot.

Excuse me, please

            Before you jump out of line and skip the ride of your life, consider this.  A qualified realtor is there to answer all those pesky questions.  That’s what they do.  They actually know what “prepaids” are and can explain them in simple terms. 

            So in addition to helping you find your dream home, they’re on standby to take care of lots of little things for you --  including translating this new foreign language for you.

And The Winner Is…

            My least favorite thing about roller coasters is the picture the amusement park likes to take of your face just as you’re plunging to what seems like possible death.  You know the one?  Where your face looks like part of it stayed up at the top of the hill and the rested of it melted into a scary Halloween mask? 

And then they try to sell it to you as a memento!

            Really?

            I much prefer the picture of you and your family standing, keys in hand, at the front door of your new home.  One of the great thrills in life is holding those keys and knowing your future is going to take place here. 

Right here.

            And that’s a win in anyone’s book.